Why your guidance counselor can’t help
[Trigger warning to any guidance counselor, sorry, "school counselor" who may have stumbled onto my email list: if you're easily offended by what parents REALLY think about guidance counselors -- private school and public school -- you may want to skip this email. ]
There’s something I almost never hear parents say out loud, but I hear it between the lines all the time.
“I feel like my kid’s doing everything she’s supposed to…and I still don’t know if it’s enough.”
That feeling of "we're missing out" isn’t paranoia.
And it isn’t because you missed a checklist item.
It’s because the college admissions system quietly changed, but most school counselors are still playing by the old rules. Here’s what I mean:
They're drowning in administrative work. Schedules. Discipline issues. Testing logistics.
Many don't even meet with students about college until junior year…which is far too late since grades 9-12 all count on the application.
And honestly? A big chunk don't even know their students' names until then.
It's not their fault. They're overworked and understaffed.
But that doesn't help your kid get into their dream school.
So parents do what responsible parents do:
- They read blogs and invade chat rooms.
- They ask other parents.
- They hire tutors.
- They encourage leadership, volunteering, internships, passion projects.
But somehow, the application still feels flat.
What’s missing isn’t effort.
It’s strategy.
I'm not giving you a cookie-cutter college list...
Or generic advice like "Join three clubs", "add some safety schools" or "do more volunteering."
I'm looking at your kid's specific set of facts and finding the angle -- the POSITIONING -- no one else can see.
That's the difference.
Deciding whether to take the SAT a sixth time, or signing up for next weekend’s cancer and/or autism awareness walks are examples of tactics (that don’t move the needle, let's be honest).
Those decisions and activities are important, but low level tactics aren’t nearly as important as strategy.
Not strategy in the “gaming the system” sense.
Strategy in the sense of KNOWING the rules of the game. The unspoken ones.
Understanding how admissions officers actually read files, where they pause, where they skim, and what quietly signals depth versus noise.
Then, “reverse engineering” that information into what will move the needle.
Most kids don’t need to add 17 more activities.
They need clarity.
They need to know which choices matter, which ones don’t, and which ones only feel productive.
This is why I still do one-on-one work.
Because no two students have the same leverage points. I have four kids, so I understand this professionally and personally.
No AI bot or high school software program like Naviance can tell you what the highest and best use of your kid’s efforts should be.
Here’s where to book a time for us to chat about helping your kid achieve his college aspirations.
-Andy
P.S. I’ve heard it from scores of parents over the years: most guidance counselors use a one-size-fits-all approach.
They recommend the same set of 15 colleges – “Rear Window Sticker Schools” – to virtually everyone.
And then they try to cram your kid into it. This way they can get home by 3:30pm.
That doesn't benefit anybody. And it's not what I do.
When Sophie came to me, she didn't need what Liam needed. She got into BC.
When Liam came to me, he didn't need what Ben needed. Liam was admitted to Notre Dame.
Ben didn’t need what Sophie or Liam needed. He’s at Dartmouth now.
They each had completely different strengths, and problems that needed completely different solutions.
That's the difference between working with a guidance counselor handling 400+ students... and working 1:1 with someone who actually knows your kid's name…
…and understands how to help your kid unlock his strengths and advocate effectively for himself to elite colleges' admissions committees.