Hi ho, fellow citizen!
I was just chatting with my friends Anderson Cooper (“Coop,” to his friends), Wolf Blitzer (“Blitz”) and Megyn Kelly (“K-Money”) about the upcoming election and they made an interesting point:
I mean, really, if you’re concerned with paying for college, or getting into college, it doesn’t really matter who the president is to you or 99% of the families I know.
Hillary won’t make college free for anyone, because Congress won’t allow it.
I have no idea The Donald’s thoughts on college are, if he even has them.
My point? There is only one person who can affect how much you pay for college.
(No, it’s not me. Did you think I was going “there?”)
Here’s a hint: it’s the guy/gal staring back at you when you brush your teeth in the morning.
Your best bet is to arm yourself with powerful insider strategies about the legal “loopholes” that, if taken advantage of, can help you qualify for more grants and scholarships than you thought possible.
You also need to stay away from deadly, eligibility-sabotaging “landmines” that can rob you of the financial aid you deserve – and need – to send your kids to their top choice colleges!
Don’t rely on empty campaign promises to take care of your college woes – take matters into your own hands!
Make it a point to come to one of our workshops this Wednesday or Thursday – assuming the world doesn’t end by then – to learn how you can slash college costs, even if you think you make too much or cannot possibly qualify!
I’m conducting free workshops in Garden City Park on Wednesday, November 9th and Northport on Thursday, November 10th. Here are all the registration details directly from me (not via WikiLeak, the Russians or an Anthony Weiner text):
If you have a Class of 2018 child, and are stressed out and uptight about how you’ll possibly afford the high cost of college, here is what you will discover:
- How to legally hide your money from the financial aid office so that even James Comey won’t investigate you
- The Art Of The College Deal – how to negotiate a ‘Yuge’ improvement over your initial, lousy financial aid award without resorting to name calling or groping the dean
- How to shamelessly use a non-profit’s endowment, instead of your own money, to pay tuition
- Why the suggestion your CPA gave you about where to save could go down in history as the worst bit of advice since “Don’t worry about it, just delete those emails – no-one will never know!”
- Your questions! (Bring ‘em on!)
You can register here. Please bring a friend or two who is uptight and stressed about paying for college. As long as we have room, they’re welcome to come and they’ll love you forever for thinking of them!
-Andy “The Unelectable” Lockwood
P.S. So I wasn’t REALLY hangin’ with Coop, Blitz or K-Money. But I’ve been seeing so much of them on TV in my family room lately sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’re not actually “friends.”
If you come to one our workshops this week, you’ll get so much valuable, free information about how to qualify for gi-normous college discounts that you’ll probably think of me as your new bestie!