Twas The Night Before FAFSA

Twas the night before FAFSA

And all through the nation

Parents were sweating bullets

Over the cost of higher education

 

“These forms are so annoying!”

One poor father cried

As he sat shuffling papers

While a part of him died

 

“Honey, what’s the big deal?”

The mother inquired

“Our daughter deserves the best

Even if you can never retire!”

 

“I’m all for a great college”

The father practically sobbed

“But I won’t pay for rock climbing or safe spaces

Unless they help her get a job”

 

The mom stopped and stared

And gave dad the stink-eye

So he turned back to his FAFSA

With a shrug and a sigh

 

But he couldn’t let it go

Because in his assessment

College is a big rip off

With no return on investment

 

“Does she even have to go?”

He wondered to himself

“Why can’t she just read a few books

On any library bookshelf?”

 

Lost in his thoughts

He became more dismayed

Because he knew even Ivy League grads

Don’t have it made in the shade

 

But he knew better than to argue

He didn’t want to bicker

Even as he realized

He’d pay a quarter mill for a dumb rear window sticker

 

He snapped out of his fog

And turned back to see

If he filed his FAFSA

Whether he’d get a good EFC

 

“They want me to pay WHAT?”

The dad went ballistic

“What orifice should I pull that from?

How can they be so unrealistic?”

 

“I played by the rules

I saved how I was advised

I lived below my means

But now I’m being penalized!”

 

On that cold winter’s night

He entered his own private hell

Because “winging it” in college planning

Almost never ends well

 

But suddenly, he remembered

A tip from a college guy

He corrected his FAFSA

Giving it the old College Try

 

This time, the result was different!

The dad was MUCH less stressed

Now he could afford to send his daughter

Where she could study, party and protest!

 

Which change did he make

What kind of damage control?

He remembered a strategy

A little-known loophole

 

Financial aid rules are wacky

The regulations are obscene

They go on for more than 1,100 pages

And they’re punitive and Byzantine

 

But sometimes a family

With a little planning and luck

Can level the playing field

So they don’t end up getting…hosed

 

Thankfully, all ended well

For this mom, dad and student

And we can all agree

That failing to plan for college is imprudent