Bizarre, Parallel Universe Discovered

A few days ago, the wife texted me a story about NASA scientists who believe that they may have discovered the existence of a strange, parallel universe (not joking, you can Google it).

The scientists hypothesized that this bizarre universe may have been formed at the Big Bang, like ours, but have its own set of physics that don't conform to ours.

Through a series of fortuitous circumstances, and in collaboration with NASA, I'm excited to report that I myself was able to port over this parallel universe last week!

What I discovered in this strange universe was unfathomable to even me.  Permit me to share some of my findings:

  • Colleges are actually affordable over there, the average family can pay for their children's education without selling an organ and/or crushing themselves with decades worth of high rate, high fee debt
  • College base their tuition prices on the VALUE they provide, not on easily-gamed and stupid rankings, or upon the winning record of the football team (oddly, called "soccer" over there)
  • College applications are judged on their applicants' demonstrated abilities to succeed academically, not on factors such as whether their parents went to that college, whether they can run, jump and throw faster, higher and harder, or their socioeconomic backgrounds

And, perhaps the most bizarre finding in this bizarro world:

Parents actually let their KIDS take control of the college application process, instead doing the work for them!

I know what you're thinking, this sounds like something right out of a science fiction movie, or at least an Ancient Aliens episode ("Could it be? Ancient alien astronaut theorists say yes!").

Although I swear that I witnessed all of this with my own eyes, my trip seems like more of a distant dream with each passing day.

Perhaps someday NASA will let me go back over there, after I get my space suit back from the dry cleaners.

If you're interested in exploring a parallel universe where you can make sense of the whole college mess, including advice on scholarships and financial aid, college admissions and how to make college actually pay off, the only way to do so currently is to join our monthly group coaching membership (no space suit required):

Live long and prosper,

-Andy "May The Schwartz Be With You" Lockwood

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