How to Avoid the “Trump SAT Problem”

I admit that, sometimes I have to wrack my brain to come up with entertaining and informative subject matter for my emails, posts and other marketing activity.

Today is not one of those times.

I caught only about 20 minutes of recently disbarred attorney cum “fixer” (a broken fixer?) Michael Cohen’s congressional testimony, but I have to admit, I was transfixed.

Not so much by the content and the back and forth jabbering with grandstanding congressional blowhards, but the overwhelming doofus-like qualify of Cohen’s demeanor.  His whole package, actually.

But before I rip into him (to entertain both of us, and to make me feel smugly superior :)…

…dd you see the threatening letter (“Exhibit 6”) Cohen wrote to Fordham University, reminding them of their obligation to NOT disclose The Donald’s SAT scores?

So much to unpack…so little time…

First, the letter reads like a first year law student’s attempt at playing “tough guy fixer lawyer,” a/k/a Roy Cohn wannabe, by its excessive and aggressive citations of statutory authority (including threats of loss of governmental funding) to bolster Cohen’s request for privacy.

As if the Fordham president needed the reminder, including the promise of “criminality” leading to jail time?

I’m looking forward to His Trumpness’ spin on this:

Donald J. Trump

@realDonald Trump

Just saw my old scumbag “fixer’s” letter to Fordham about my SAT scores.  I didn’t want them released – they were too high!

OK, I’m getting a smidge carried away.

BUT… as long as I’m on a roll…

Doofus Cohen, Ex-Esq. couldn’t have done too well on his boards, either.  I know I’m going to offend someone here, but do you know where he went to law school?

Thomas M. Cooley Law School, in Michigan, known as THE WORST law school in the country:  acceptance rate:  YES!

Literally, “Can you pay?  Can you fog a mirror?  Sign here!   (Cooley accepts 90%, give or take so I’m really not kidding here).

I’ll stop, reluctantly, because I don’t want you to think I’m elitist or snobby, or putting down anybody who doesn’t test well.

But the fact of the matter is that test scores still matter.  If you want to give yourself the best shot at getting into the best schools, and your father is not Fred Trump, you need to kick butt on the ACT and SAT, plain and simple.

You need to get serious about test prep, before you run out of time.  Don’t put it off.

Sign up for our GUARANTEED ACT and SAT Crusher courses here:


Use the coupon code “DOOFUS” to get $150 off through the weekend!

I have so much more to give, but I’ll stop here, on this, ahem, “high” note 🙂

-Andy “Barely Cracked 1300…back when 1300 was a decent score”  Lockwood

P.S.  The coupon code and test prep course site are “DOOFUS” and, respectively.

I contemplated using “Hush Money,” “Collusion” and “JesusICan’tBelieveI’mWatchingThisGuyTestify” as coupon codes, but ruled them out for various reasons. 🙂

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