Are you starring in your own horror movie?
If the financial aid process makes you feel like you’re starring in your own horror movie..
…You know, where everyone in the theater knows what’s going to happen – the actor is about to “get it”when she finds herself in a basement, attic or other abandoned site…
….and hesitantly, stupidly, walks toward some creepy noise (instead of getting the heck outta there!)….
…then pauses, deciding what to do, only to inexplicably open the dark, creaky door, then…
She comes face to face with the monster!
Are YOU that actor?
Financial aid season is here, and the monster is the criminally insane price of college!
But you have one, last chance…we can rescue you from certain doom!
On Monday night (not day, we have to avoid direct sunlight), the little Countess and I are running a new webinar, 21 Deadly Financial Aid Mistakes That Can SLAUGHTER Your Chances Of Getting What You Need – And Deserve!
There’s so much at, ahem, STAKE, you don’t want to miss it!
On this presentation, you will unearth the dark magical secrets of how to:
- Qualify for every last dollar of financial aid you’re entitled to
- Avoid ghastly, money-sucking mistakes BURIED in the financial aid forms that could slaughter your chances of receiving the award you deserve
- Adhere to every DEADline the creepy folks in the financial aid office torture you with
- Actually RELAX and take a deep breath (remember what that feels like?) during this incredibly high pressure – high stakes – moment in your and your family’s precarious lives!
Don’t let the FAFSA, CSS Profile, financial aid office and monstrously overpriced, rip-off colleges do unspeakably horrible things to you – register for Monday night’s free webinar:
All of the gruesome details, time, location, what to wear (please don’t conceal your neck), etc. are on that registration page.
Please invite some other victims, um, “friends,” who could use this information.
See you on “The Other Side”
Count Andrew FAFSALA Von Lockwuud
Undead College Planner
P.S. I know, this email was a smidge goofy. But Pearl and I are GRAVELY serious about helping families avoid staggering student loans (currently $1.4 Trillion with defaults constantly rising), a Zombie-like economy where 50% of college gradutates don’t have jobs TWO YEARS post-graduation. Not to mention all the parents who sacrifice their retirements and mortgage their financial future up to the eyeballs just to pay for college.
Avoid these horrible fates – enroll today before it’s too late!
P.P.S. Bwah ha hahahahahaha!!!!!